


Slushies Aren't Just For Kids

by knobblyfruit



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Knows He Looks Good, Clint Loves Slushies, Crossdressing, Getting Together, M/M, clint wears makeup, completely ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 18:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9837428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knobblyfruit/pseuds/knobblyfruit
Summary: In which Clint wears a skirt, Bucky despairs, Natasha is better than everyone, and Steve is a little shit.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for Tumblr - I was given several lines of dialogue from a list and had to try to use them all in a fic. I managed to use four of them. Guess which ones. :D
> 
> Please ignore the title, I couldn't think of anything else.

"I can do this! Undercover is my middle name. I got this." Clint was standing in front of a full-length mirror, slipping some black high heels on like he wore them everyday. He bent over slightly to adjust the fishnet stockings that were torn at one knee.

"I thought it was Francis," Bucky muttered distractedly, his eyes absolutely not on the curve of Clint's ass as the tight skirt clung to his backside.

Clint abruptly turned around and Bucky jerked his head back to eye-level. Clint's smirk told him he definitely noticed.

Bucky cleared his throat in a not-at-all awkward manner. "I think that skirt is a little small for you, don't you?"

The smirk on Clint's face grew, but he turned to face the mirror again. "The skirt is supposed to be this short." He did a little shimmy, and Bucky's eyes automatically dropped back to his ass. When they went back up, Clint was smiling at him through the mirror. 

That's when Steve "Cockblock" Rogers walked in the room, a StarkPad in his hand, ignoring Bucky's glare and Clint's predatory grin with practiced ease. "Okay, guys, we've got rendezvous in two hours. Clint, you almost ready?"

"I think so." Clint leaned into the mirror, examining his face. "I think I need some eyeliner and maybe a little lipstick...?"

Steve nodded seriously at the tablet. "Natasha?"

Natasha breezed into the room from who knows where, a makeup kit in her hand. "I got it."

Clint frowned. "I can do my own makeup."

"You really can't," Natasha said as she manhandled Clint into a nearby chair. "Now shush."

"May I remind you I grew up in a circus?"

"If you had grown up in Paris during Fashion Week, you might have a decent argument."

"Ugh, forget it. You fucking suck -- ow! That was my eye!"

"If you would stop talking and moving for five seconds --"

"Enough!" Bucky shouted. "Clint, just sit still and let her do your damn makeup. Please."

Clint batted his eyelashes and smiled sweetly, the eyeliner Natasha had already applied emphasizing his baby blues. "Well, since you asked so nicely, buttercup."

Bucky quickly darted his gaze to Steve. "Anything off limits for this one?"

Steve hummed quietly, watching Natasha work with interest. "Not really. Just a drug lord who likes men in skirts." He paused for a moment. "Just don't buy a goat. I don't care what you do, just no goats."

Bucky grinned. "Why, Stevie, it's almost as if you didn't like that goat in France, but I gotta say, he sure liked you."

"Shut up." 

"It does ruin my master plan," Clint spoke up. "Ride into the perp's hideout on a goat, slurping on a grape slushie." 

"You are a child," Natasha muttered.

"Slushies aren't just for kids, fuck society."

Natasha just sighed heavily. Bucky felt it was safe to smile fondly, since Clint wasn't looking at him. 

Unfortunately, Steve was. "Hey, Bucky, you like slushies, right? You and Clint should go get some sometime. Together."

Before Bucky could even comprehend his traitorous asshole best friend, Clint was like, "Hell yeah, Barnes! I know this great little place we could go. Best slushies ever."

"Uh." Bucky felt like his brain was melting. "Sure, yeah, cool."

"When you go, Clint, you should also wear that skirt."

"Way ahead of you, Cap."

Bucky's facepalm could probably be heard in Asgard.


End file.
